Family Update

I thought I'd write an update tonight about the family. I had been holding off on writing any updates in hopes that small miracle might have worked out but it is safe to say that won't be happening. Unfortunately my sister lost the baby as well as her husband. After her first doctors appointment she was told everything was looking alright and that in a week or two they should see the heartbeat. A week later she went in for a second appointment with her new doctor back in Midland and the baby was smaller than the week before and did not have a yolk sac or fetal pole. (I don't know what those are but I figured it wasn't good) 

For some reason we all kind of thought that maybe it was just too early to be sure. Maybe the little baby was just a little slow to start growing and that things would work out and be fine. After all who would take someone's husband and baby from them in less than a month??? That couldn't happen right? Well our miracle did not come and the baby won't be coming either. Of course no one will ever really know why this worked out and why this double Decker crap sandwich was delivered to my sister but there is nothing we can do to change it. 

We can learn from this and change our own lives and make healthier choices and be aware of what we have and who we are. We can move on and not forget Shawn by taking better care of ourselves and helping each other out when we need to. The events of the last month and a half scared a lot of us. I went to the doctor and had blood work done and thankfully got a clean bill of health. My dad went to the doctor and they ran several tests. Today he just found out he has to go back for a stress test as one of his previous labs showed some things that require further investigation. I hope that it is nothing serious but I think we are all thankful that Shawn's death at least inspired us to go in and get checked out for ourselves. If my Dad does need to have more treatments or test done we can be thankful that we caught it early before it was a major problem. 

Life is slowly getting back to normal for all of us. I've been back to work for about two weeks now, my sister Katie and my Dad have both been back to work for awhile, and my mom went back to work this week. For us we're getting into our normal routines again slowly but surely. Jenny is unfortunately being forced to find her new "normal." Her life has been completely changed and she is taking it one day at a time and will most likely have to do that for awhile yet. For now it appears that she's at least finding comfort and support through her blog and her network of online friends. It's been amazing to see how people have stepped up to support her from all around the world. 

The response we all got as a family was incredible too. We set up the fund for Jenny's baby immediately after Shawn died with the idea that the little kid was going to need some money for college and other expenses. We had no idea what the response would be. We were blown away. I think the last time my sister told me there was nearly $8,000 in the account that people had sent in from all over. There were people sending money that we didn't even know but had read it in one of the several newspapers around Michigan or Ohio. The support and turn out from my Grand Rapids friends was amazing. My friends who had never met my sister or my family sent in money. My work, the company that owns our office building, my fraternity, my ski patrol friends from Cannonsburg, all pitched in to support my sister and my family. Others sent cards and emails supporting me and encouraging me through this difficult time. As I mentioned in my first post it was my Grand Rapids family that helped me stay strong the first few days after Shawn's death while my real family was in Ohio. 

In case you're wondering, after we found out about the miscarriage my sister and my family decided that all money donated to the baby's fund would be used to help cover the cost of Shawn's funeral instead. Not many 31 year old couples have cash on hand to pay funeral bills. We were concerned with the "ethics" of the situation seeing that we originally asked for donations to be made for the baby however after careful consideration and asking many of the donors we made the decision that it would be used for the funeral expenses and that purpose only. 

It's been 37 days since Shawn has not been with us but in some aspects it feels like it's been an eternity and in other aspects it seems like it was just yesterday all this happened. Each day I process some feeling or emotion and learn a little bit more about this thing we call life. Each day brings new questions and even some new answers. For the most part I'm settling back in and doing okay. I'm back in ski patrol training classes again which takes up two nights a week, marathon meetings one night a week, and to top it all off still very busy will work.

Thank you to everyone who has sent cards, facebook messages, and support to myself and my family during the last few weeks. I can't even begin tell you how great your support has been.